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<title>Fighting To Get Home by MaddieandChimney</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497485">Fighting To Get Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney'>MaddieandChimney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, tw: mentions of injury and death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:27:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tell her about me, please… I-I used to cling to the stories about my mom from Mrs Lee… please tell her I loved her. That without truly knowing her, she made me so happy.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Madney One-Shots</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fighting To Get Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He fights so hard.</p><p>He really does because he knows if he doesn’t make it home to her, he’d want her to know that he fought so damn hard.</p><p>He can barely see through the smoke and he knows the fire is still raging around him, he knows he needs to move but the large shard of glass in his stomach shifts with every movement, every breath. His lungs are burning and his head is spinning, the blood already pooling around him as he slowly shifts himself up to sit against the nearest wall. His eyes shift to the rookie who had tried so hard to be a good replacement for Hen (no one could replace her, but suddenly he feels bad because maybe, somehow, he had let the rookie know that). He was young, too young to die but there he was, and there Chimney was, still very much breathing, still fighting to get home.</p><p>The explosion had happened just as they were leaving, just as he had thought he made it through another shift without his best friend. The rookie – Mattie; he suddenly thinks he should start referring to him by his name – was dead before Chimney even opened his eyes. The exit they had been heading for was blocked, there was no way out. He was stuck.</p><p>He needs her to know that he tried so hard as his hands go for his radio once more, he knew that his family at the 118 were doing everything they could to get to him. He could hear the panic in their voices, and he wished more than anything he could tell them it would be okay. He wasn’t so sure he would make it this time – the rebar had been sheer luck, a miracle that no one could truly explain to him, then being stabbed; again, that was luck. Another close call. Another time he had been so close to dying, but just not close enough.  The countless burning buildings, the earthquakes, the repelling himself off of cliff sides, the endless amount of times he put his life in danger every single day.</p><p>He shouldn’t have been surprised that the end would come when he wasn’t ready to let go, when he finally had so much to live for. He had a family, a girlfriend he had only bought an engagement ring for the day before, a baby on the way in just five weeks… just when all the pieces of his life were falling into place, it was going to be ripped from him. From them.</p><p>“Bobby?” His voice barely sounded like his own, his hand shaking as he held the speaker to his lips.</p><p>“Chimney, we are going to find you. We are going to get you home.” The determination in the man’s voice didn’t alleviate how terrified he was right then – he had no idea if they were even close and he knew they would try, until they simply couldn’t try anymore.</p><p>His eyes closed and he saw Maddie’s smiling face, “Bobby, I-I need you to put me through to dispatch. I need to speak to her.” She was in work, he had begged them not to tell her just yet, she was so close to her due date, her anxiety was already through the roof. He knew she would come running the moment she heard and until he <em>knew</em> she needed to know, he didn’t want to hurt her. He half-expected his Captain to argue, but instead, he told him to switch the channel.</p><p>It was only a minute until he heard her hesitant voice, but it felt like hours. He could already hear the tears in her voice, that someone must have briefly explained to her exactly what was happening. He hoped no one had made her any promises. “Maddie, baby, I…” He had wanted to speak to her, he had wanted to say so much but right then, he was at a complete loss for words. How was he supposed to say goodbye? “I don’t think I’m gonna make it.”</p><p>She didn’t say anything, but he could hear a sob on the other end that broke his heart. He felt the tears slipping down his cheeks, “I-I don’t know how much time I have left.” The cough that followed left his lungs feeling as though they were on fire, he gasped for air, but the thick smoke only made it more difficult. He really wasn’t ready to die, it was what made saying goodbye that much harder. “I just needed you to know,” Every word was painful, but he fought through it, “I love you. Thank you for e-everything,  for… for loving me. There’s so much I could say,”</p><p>But he could feel his eyes getting heavier, “Tell her about me, please… I-I used to cling to the stories about my mom from Mrs Lee… please tell her I loved her. That without truly knowing her, she made me so happy.”</p><p>He thought he had lost her, until a hesitant voice came over the radio, “I’ll tell her, Howie… <em>saranghaeyo</em>.” Despite everything, he still found himself smiling ever so slightly at the use of the phrase she had been so eager to learn. If it was the last thing she said to him, if her voice was the last voice he heard, then he couldn’t ask for anything more.</p><hr/><p>He didn’t expect to open his eyes again – the last thing he remembers is hearing her voice as his eyes fell to a close for what he was certain would be the last time. He had hoped, at the time, the next face he saw would be his mother’s, waiting for him.</p><p>He doesn’t remember anything beyond collapsing on the floor, wishing he could have fought that little bit harder so he could be in the arms of the woman he loved so much. But his eyes are open, and he’s greeted with the sight of a person he doesn’t recognise, the sound of a doctor throwing questions at him – can he hear him? Does he know his name? Does he know what year it is?</p><p>When he opens his mouth to answer, the voice that comes out doesn’t sound like his own. His throat is dry, and sore, presumably from the pipe he had felt them uncomfortably remove from the back of his throat just a few moments before. The realisation hits him suddenly – he’s alive. He made it through. Again.</p><p>“M-Maddie?”</p><p>The woman he had planned on marrying, the woman who was carrying their child, she’s the only person he wants and needs right then. He wanted, nothing more, than to hold her and apologise to her a thousand times over, even if she doesn’t want to hear it. He’s completely unaware of the tears falling down his face until he notices her, already in the room, for the first time. Her hand is on his cheek and it’s instinct to lean into her touch.</p><p>“I thought I would never see you again.” He manages to gasp out, before he’s looking into her eyes – just a few years ago, when he had come so close to death, he had struggled to think of a reason why he would get to live when he couldn’t think of a single thing he had to live for. Now, he has his daughter and the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life loving. All he had thought about, in what he thought were the last few moments of his life, was how he wouldn’t get to see either of them. He wouldn’t get to meet his daughter. He wouldn’t get to spend what he had hoped would be a long, happy life with Maddie. </p><p>Despite the tears falling down her cheeks, she lets out a laugh – and that sound is suddenly more delicious than it has ever been before. In that moment, he promises that he will make her laugh more, even if it means her enduring even more of his terrible dad jokes. “Christopher has started a rumour that you’re invincible, no one is arguing with him.”</p><p>A silence falls between the two, until she bends down to press their lips together. It’s only for a moment, and it reminds him of their very first kiss. They had been through so much before then and since then. “I’m sorry.” Is what he says when she pulls back, a hand moving to brush a loose strand of hair from her ponytail, behind her ear. He’s so tired, but he wants to drink her in completely – he wants to memorise as much of her as he possibly can just in case this isn’t real.</p><p>“Everyone is waiting to see you. <em>Everyone.”</em> There’s something about the way she emphasises that word, but it doesn’t click. He hates how exhausted she looks, how her hair is just scrapped back – so completely unlike her – she’s pale, and her eyes are bloodshot. Because of him, he decides. She had been hurting and it was entirely his fault. He hates how quickly the guilt comes creeping in, how it completely overtakes every other sense he had been feeling of relief, love, hope. In that moment, all he wants to do is apologise. But she’s pulling away from him.</p><p>His eyes want to close so badly, but he needs her near him, he needs her hand in his, he needs her to tell him it’s okay to fall asleep again, that it’s safe. Because he’s still not entirely convinced this is all real, and true – he cannot have beaten death for a third time. That doesn’t happen, no one is that lucky, especially not him.</p><p>“I want you to meet your daughter, Howie.”</p><p>“W-what? No, no… we have five weeks.”</p><p>He’s confused until she’s standing next to the bed once again, with a tiny baby in her arms, and he <em>knows</em> that is his little girl. He can tell the moment he lays his eyes on her that she is who he’s been waiting for since he found out she existed. “She decided to come early; she was worried about her daddy.” The woman is completely besotted, he can tell just by the way she’s talking and looking down until she looks back up at him, tears in her eyes.</p><p>He missed her entrance into the world, he and Maddie had made so many plans, they had been so excited. The guilt quickly intensified, only to be swiftly alleviated when she moves to place their daughter – his daughter – on his chest. “Amelia…” He sobs, his hand gently moving to her back, tilting his head ever so slightly to press a light kiss to her jet-black hair. Maddie’s hand is on his forehead as she grins down at the two of them, “You’ve been out for a week… s-she’s a week old. But I have told her so much about her daddy…”</p><p>“She’s o-okay?”</p><p>“She’s healthy, she has just been released in time to see her daddy wake up. She just obviously couldn’t let you get all the attention that day or today.” He knew Maddie better than to take what she said at face-value, he could see the sadness in her eyes, how terrified she must have been. How the stress must have induced labour.</p><p>“She’s going home without me.”</p><p>“You won’t be far behind her. And considering we didn’t even know you’d be home a few days ago… I-I think we should take the win, don’t you?” Of course, he knows she’s right, the last time he had thought about their daughter, he had been planning her future without him. Begging Maddie to tell her everything about him, how much he had loved her, how much he would have adored her. Now she’s here, and he can promise her the world himself. </p><p>He still can’t stop the tears as they fall even harder than they already had been, prompting Maddie to take their daughter from his shaking chest. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry… i-it’s all we ever wanted and I’m just–” </p><p>“It’s fine, it’s fine. My idiot brother recorded the entire thing on his iPhone, so you can imagine what a shit show that is. Hen held my hand through it, she told me how much you loved me… how you were fighting so hard to come back. You were in surgery, we didn’t know if you would make it… but you did and Amelia is here now and you’re okay.”</p><p>“We’re okay.” He quickly corrects her, “The three of us, our family… we’re okay.”</p>
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